Mar 202014

We need to talk. I know we’ve been together for a while now, and it’s been great, it really has. But I feel like we’re starting to grow apart and, well…

*heaves a heavy sigh*

I think I’d like to start seeing other people…

*looks appropriately remorseful*

Don’t look at me like that. I’ll still do the Personal Profile thing with you, but the Page just doesn’t do it for me. Never did, really. It just kinda lays there like a dead fish.

It just feels like we don’t want the same things anymore.

If you want the truth, I’ve given up trying to understand your algorithms. And you never let me see my friends.

What? Boost my posts? You mean…shell out money for a little attention? Ughhh. That would make me feel so dirty. And used. And dirty. I’ve never paid for it (as far as you know) and I don’t intend to start now.

Besides, I hear you’re going to be getting plenty of love from Nike and the like.

They’re so big and full of girthiness. I can’t compete with that.

So. Maybe I’ll see you sometime, out there among the cat memes, sappy inspirational quotes, cryptic cliff-hangers, and political rants.

Don’t look back!




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 March 20, 2014  Posted by at 10:29 am writing  Add comments

  2 Responses to “It’s Not You, Facebook, It’s Me”

  1. Clever! Also, true.

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